Haunkey Taunk
by Yami Kitten
Summary: OMG, this fic is just funny!!! Thats it! Not much of a story line at all, just plain humor!!!


Haunkey Taunk  
  
By: Lilly-Lulu  
  
Quatre and Heero are sitting on a couch staring at a pencil then out  
of nowhere.....  
  
Heero- I should cut back on killing people.  
Quatre- Yeah, you should you would make more friends that way.  
Heero- I don't want friends.  
Quatre- Why not?  
Heero- because they're annoying  
Quatre- No they aren't...at least most of them  
Heero- yeah they are. Always asking for stuff and never paying you back.   
I don't want friends.  
Quatre- then why do you want to stop killing people for?  
~pause~  
Heero pulls out a gun.  
Heero- I don't know.  
BaNg! Heero shoots Quatre.   
Duo comes running after hearing the shot.  
Duo- what was that?!...........Heero, why is Quatre laying on the   
ground bleeding?  
Heero- we were having a conversation. I said I should cut back on   
killing people. Quatre asked why. I didn't have a good answer so..  
Duo- you shot him?!  
Heero- yeah.  
~pause~  
Duo- ok then I was just woundering.  
Heero- ok then.  
Pulls out a gun. BaNg! Shoots Duo. Wufei runs in.  
Wufei- Whats the noise about?!...........um..Heero...  
BaNg! Trowa runs in. Sees the three other Gundam pilots dead on the ground.  
Trowa- ok Heero I think you should tell me whats going on young man!  
Heero- sorry...  
Trowa- whats this all about killing Quatre, Duo, and Wufei for?  
Heero- they're annoying.  
Trowa- ....give me the gun Heero.  
Heero- NO!  
Trowa- Now Heero....  
Heero- ~sigh~  
Heero gives Trowa the gun.  
Heero- jerk....  
Trowa- Now what are we going to do about this mess? There's blood everywhere!  
Heero- sorry for messing up your house.  
Trowa- this isn't my house.  
Heero- Really? This isn't going to look good to who ever lives here is it?  
Trowa- Nope.  
Heero- lets leave.  
Trowa- no, we have to save the others.  
Heero- how?  
Trowa pulls out a life returning machine from behind him  
Trowa- with this!  
Heero- where did you get that?  
Trowa- I don't know it was just behind me.  
Heero- oh  
Trowa puts the dead bodies in the machine, Heero helps kind-of  
Trowa- DON'T BUT WUFEI'S HAND THERE!!  
Heero- why not, it looks funny.  
Trowa- ~sigh~   
Trowa replaces Wufei's hand  
Trowa- There, turn on the machine Heero.  
Heero-ok   
Heero turns on the machine. Duo, Wufei, and Quatre return to life.  
Duo- What happened?  
Heero- Trowa shot you.  
Duo- that wasn't veary nice.  
Trowa- I know....WAIT A MINUTE! Heero shot you not me.  
Duo- Oh, that still wasn't veary nice.  
Heero- so?  
~pause~  
Duo and others shrug.  
Duo- I don't have anything to follow that.  
everyone sighs.  
Man- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!  
Heero- I was woundering who lives here.  
Man- GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!!  
Wufei- Gosh don't have a cow man! It's not like we were killing  
anybody or anything!  
Man- YOU ARE IN MY HOUSE!!!!! DON'T TELL ME NOT TO HAVE A 'COW'!!!  
YOU   
LITTLE ASIAN PUNK!!  
Wufei- HEY!! I don't make fun of your origin so just lay off pal! At least MY   
home country isn't the dirtiest in the...oh let me think....WORLD!!!  
Duo- HEY!! Excuse me but he is not the only american here!  
Wufei- SHUT-UP MAXWELL!!  
Duo- your so mean!  
Duo lunged on Wufei and starts punching.  
Wufei kicks him off and brings his sword out from behind him.  
Duo- AHH!!! Not fair!   
Duo brings out his scythe.  
--mideivial sword music--(i have no idea what that sounds like  
so just bear with me)  
CLANG! SWUSHSWUSH!! SIZZLE-ZAP! CUT!  
Duo- MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
YOU A-HOLE!!!!  
Duo takes his scythe and slices Wufei's legs off.  
Quatre- STOP IT!!  
Wufei- we're...just...playing.  
Quatre- YOUR LEGS ARE CUT OFF!!  
Duo- So?! He'll live it's my hair I'm worried about. Oh wait a   
minute.  
Duo runs out of the house and comes back with a weird machine shaped   
like his braid.  
Heero- What the hell is that?  
Duo- It's a machine I invented! It will restore my hair back to normal!  
Man- You guys are complete dumb-asses! I'm calling the cops.  
--Indiana Jones music--  
Trowa brings out a whip and trips the man and hog ties him.  
--Indiana Jones music off--  
Trowa- Now Duo, go on  
Duo puts the remaining part of his braid in the machine.  
PUNF! DOGH! GUOGHF! ZIPZIPZIPZIPZIPZIP! PUFF!!  
Duo- There good as new!  
Duo holds out a fresh new braid of hair.  
Heero(in his head)- most...not...pull...braid...  
Duo- It's soo soft and silky.  
He swooshes it back and forth.  
Heero(in his head)- must...hold...back...(Not in head) I CAN'T HELP  
IT!!   
He runs to Duo and gives his braid an extra painful tug.  
Duo- OUCH!!  
Duo clings his braid closer to him.  
Duo then pulls Heero's hair   
Heero- HEY! Your not suposed to do that!  
Duo- Why not?  
Heero- Thats just the way things are! I pull your braid then you you cry  
out and I'm happy. ::grin::  
Wufei- sorry...to...interupt...but...  
Duo- shut up Wufei, me and Heero here are having another argument!  
Wufei- but...I'v...lost...alot...of um...blood ::gasp for air::  
Trowa- We should take Wufei to the hospital.  
Quatre- You think? Why?  
Trowa(shrugs)- I think they can fix stuff like this.  
Quatre- You think?  
Trowa- Yep.  
Wufei- I...feel...faint...(wufei faints)  
Man- HELP!! I'V BEEN HOG TIED BY THE VILLAGE IDIOTS!!  
All (except man)-SHUT UP!!  
They leave the man there and bring Wufei to the animal hospital in England.  
Trowa- That stupid flight attendent! 'Is your friend hurt?' What kind of  
question is that?!  
Duo- Why are we here again?  
Heero(shrugs)- I don't know lets go home.  
Wufei- WAIT! I don't have legs remember!?  
Quatre- You think?  
Trowa- Stop saying that!  
Duo- What are we doing here now?  
Wufei- HELP!!!!  
All- O Yeah!  
They bring Wufei into the animal hospital.  
Trowa- Why did we bring him to an animal hospital?  
Duo- That was my idea!  
Trowa- o right  
Desk lady- Can I help you?  
Duo- Yeah! Our Monkey here got his legs cut off can you fix that?  
Lady- Um...hold on  
Beeps for doctor  
Docter- MY GOD!! That poor ugly animal! Bring him to the emergency   
room fast!  
Wufei- I'm not an animal!  
Doctor- ?! It speaks!  
Quatre- Don't mind him just give him some new legs or something.  
Docter- OK! ^___O  
  
An hour later...  
  
Doctor- Ok, we put some legs on Wuia here and...  
Duo- Wufie  
Doctor- Eh? Well, whatever, and then I thought, what the hell! So I made him look  
like a german shepard while I was at it.  
Wufie- WoofWoof!! ~pantpant~  
Heero- Awww!!! Here puppy!  
Duo/Quatre/Trowa- "Awww, here puppy? Heero are you ok.  
Heero- ~deathglare~ What? I can't like dogs?! Oh I see, the jappanese kid can't  
like animals. Oh, well I'm soooorrry you racist pigs!   
Duo- It's oook Heero.  
Heero- Oh yeah! I'm sure it's ok! Everything is ALWAYS ok! Like when the colonies  
tried to kill us, Yeah! That was a fine and dandy day! We defend them for our  
whole lives, then one day...Hey! Why not kill our good buddies the gundam pilots?  
Sounds good to me! Yeah! And why we're at it lets join forces with our worst  
enemy!  
Quatre- I thought you said that whole thing was ok, and it was ok if the colonies  
didn't understand us at first.  
Duo- Um..that was you.  
Quatre- Oh, still thats in the past so lets take our dog and go home.  
Duo- Dog?  
Wufei- Grrr!  
Duo- Oh yeah!  
Trowa- We should give him a new name.  
Quatre- You think?  
Trowa- Stop saying that!   
Duo- How bout Wufei!  
Trowa- Ok, wait...NO! Thats the name he has now.  
Duo- Oh, well then how bout Wufei?  
Trowa- Well, that might work....Huh? Stop that! No! Quatre do have any ideas?  
Quatre- You thingk?  
Trowa- Stop saying that! That time it didn't even make sense!  
Quatre- You think?  
Trowa- Argh! Heero, do YOU have any ideas?  
Heero- How' bout cupcake!  
Trowa- CAN YOU GUYS GET ANYMORE STUPID!  
Quatre- You think?  
Trowa punches Quatre.  
Duo- Lets call him Wuffy.  
Trowa- ~:D~ DUO!! You're a genius!  
Quatre- You think?  
Trowa ignores Quatre.  
Duo- I am?  
Trowa- Yep! Our dog's name is now Wuffy.  
Heero- Yeah! And what a cute doggy he is!  
Duo- Stop that your making me sick!  
Heero- :P  
Trowa- Ok, lets go home.  
They transport back to the man's home.  
Man(not hog tied and standing with a gun)- There you guys are! ~coks gun~  
Heero- Uh Oh! Sick'em cupcake!  
Wuffy- ~attacks~ Grrr!!!! Bark! Bark! BITE!  
Duo- Oh! Ouch!  
The man falls down hand clenching, well......you know.  
(Duo- No what?   
Lilly- !? How did you get here!?   
Duo- What is the man clenching?   
Lilly- Look down   
Duo- Oh! Ouch!   
Lilly- You already said that.   
Duo- I did?   
Lilly- Yep! I know because I made you say it!   
Quatre- You think?   
Lilly- QUATRE! What is this a party?  
Heerp/Trowa- Party?! Where!?  
Wuffy- Bark! Bark!  
Lilly- Get out of here! I have to finish the story.  
Duo- Party-poopier)  
  
Trowa- That will shut him up.  
Wuffy- Bark!  
Quatre- You think?  
Trowa- QUATRE! YOU...wait....Wuffy?  
Wuffy- Grr! ~attacks Quatre~  
And Quatre went wee-wee all the way home  
  
The End  
  
?  
Duo- Of course it's the end. Why do you have a question mark?  
Lilly- DUO!! GO HOME ALREADY!!  
Duo ~sobs~ I don't have a home the big-bad-wolf huffed and puffed and plew it  
down! ~sobs~  
Lilly- Aww! Poor baby! You can live with me!  
Duo- Okie-Dokie!  
Lilly- Lets go home!  
Duo- Okie-Dokie!  



End file.
